Tick Tock
by the lola
Summary: Everything is breaking apart for Scorpius, time seems to be rushing so fast that he can't be still. 'So it turns out that Scorpius isn't just claustrophobic – coming here is the one time that he doesn't have to be lonely. Because Lysander is lonely too, and they can be lonely together.'


**Word Count: **1,210

**Challenge/Competition:** Hunger Games Competition

**Prompts:** 1210 words, oak, fists, "There's something I've always wanted to ask...", blissful.

**Warnings: **Swearing, implied depression.

**Disclaimer:** I don't claim to own Harry Potter, it's all JKR's.

**Note: **I can't stop writing angst - help!

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**_Tick_**

Everything's just running away from him, breaking him apart bit by bit. Nothing's holding him together anymore.

"_It's just a separation Scorpius, while we try and figure things out."_

Yet he knows that it's just adult talk for _we're getting a divorce_. It's not like he should be upset – they'll be happier apart and they never seemed to love each other anyway, but he just can't imagine them not all being together.

He's an only child, how is he supposed to do this all by himself? He doesn't want to be part of the push and pull, the tugging and the ripping.

**_Tock_**

But he thought he could pull it together – brave face Scorpius, because he does his brave face best (his mother always told him so).

"_I'm sorry, but this is just too much. I really want us to stay friends."_

Yet he knows that that's just Lily talk for _leave me alone, you're acting crazy_. So she walks away, and she leaves him standing on even more uneven ground.

It's okay – no one else has to see his turmoil (what turmoil?) he'll just sew himself together, pull the rug back under his feet and immerse himself in attempting to feel something.

Because he's completely numb. And he feels nothing. Nothing.

**_Tick_**

The brave face has its limits, apparently. He feels like a hollow statue with a smile stuck on. It doesn't work.

"_She's my girlfriend, what the fuck is wrong with you?"_

At least Albus didn't bother to sugar coat things, but for some reason it rips Scorpius' brave face off and he is knocked off his balance.

Fists are going everywhere and Scorpius thinks he really has lost control this time as he looks down at his bruised and raw knuckles, dripping with blood.

**_Tock_**

The alcohol slips down his throat and he swaggers around the common room, scouting for girls to prey on.

"_You're Scorpius Malfoy."_

Yet she doesn't mean it in that admiring way, she means it in that _I've-heard-about-you_ way. He sees the way her eyes are filled with pity and he hates it, as well hating the absolute furious anger that bubbles inside of him.

Girls aren't keeping him whole, they're not helping his sanity, and they're not doing anything at all, actually.

**_Tick_**

So he leaves the party, daring to venture out in to the corridors out of hours and inebriated. There's a spot where no one will find him.

After a few minutes of stumbling around in search of the right place, he finds it. The huge podium blocks out a corner that's just big enough for two people, probably.

And no one's supposed to be there – he doesn't notice anyone else, but then again his surroundings are pitch black. So he cries, and he barely even realises until he rubs his face and feels the remnants of tears.

"It's okay," someone whispers, causing Scorpius to jolt backwards and bang his head on the stone behind him.

He recognizes the voice, but assumes it's hallucinations; he did drink a lot.

**_Tock_**

There's a sea of people in this school, and not one of them has time for him.

"_Another time, yeah?"_

Yet he knows that they mean never. If someone just took a moment, one moment, to ask him, maybe they'd understand.

He doesn't want to have to keep sticking himself back together only to fall apart again.

Because his parents don't care, they're too busy wrapped up in their arguing, just like they always are. Because Lily doesn't care, she's too wrapped up in trying to not love Scorpius because he makes her feel dark. Because Albus doesn't care, he's too wrapped up in Dominique, he'll never see that Scorpius honestly doesn't know what happened – doesn't remember one second of it, and he'll never care enough to ask _why_ Scorpius did it.

So no one cares and he realises again, causing him to lose his balance all over again.

**_Tick_**

And he finds himself back at his spot again and again, the claustrophobia of his room with the memories and the dislike everyone has for him looming in the air becoming too much (he can barely breathe).

"_I'm glad you come here, you finally stop pretending. You let everything go."_

So it turns out that Scorpius isn't just claustrophobic – coming here is the one time that he doesn't have to be lonely. Because Lysander is lonely too, and they can be lonely together.

It seems sad – Scorpius Malfoy never set out to be this weak, but he can't help the fact that he's been torn apart and knocked down; he doesn't have a choice anymore.

**_Tock_**

The days are the loneliest, though. Scorpius walks around with red eyes, translucent skin, and no utterance from his mouth. He's just worsening, everyone sees it and no one seems to wonder.

"_Your father and I are divorcing, sorry to be letting you know like this. You can stay with whomever you want, but you know I'd love to see you."_

And the reminder washes over him: everything is broken. There's no point in sewing himself together because it's just done so badly, and no one believes that he's going to be okay anymore.

Well, with one exception. And that exception is the person pulling him through.

**_Tick_**

Scorpius' feelings are really starting to scare him. He doesn't know if he should keep going to the corner but he does it anyway.

So Lysander twirls his oak wand in his hand and casts lumos, giving them a little bit of light in all the darkness.

They don't use many words, they just sit and it's comfortable. Lysander crept up on him and is the only thing that has made him _feel_ in a really long time, but it's wrong for them to be like this he knows that – he does.

**_Tock_**

He's just going to go one more time, to say goodbye. Lysander and him is wrong, and he's going to stop it before it's official.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Scorpius finally admits, because he can't cope anymore, not by himself, not like this.

"You're going to be okay," Lysander says softly, putting a hand over Scorpius', causing him to flinch just slightly.

"Everything changes in the morning."

"I know."

A pause.

"There's something I've always wanted to ask… that I _have_ to ask," Lysander says, and to no reply continues, "Are you in love with me?"

Scorpius' heart drops to his feet, but he finds himself smiling because he's just so _Lysander _– saying what's on his mind, and not afraid. Never afraid. But this is bad, and he doesn't know what to do.

Silence looms, and Lysander lets it.

"I think I do. It scares the crap out of me but I want it to – it overwhelms me, it makes me whole and that's all I want."

And so Lysander's lips land on Scorpius' and they share a blissful, peaceful moment in all of the darkness they seem to be stuck in. If Lysander is the one good thing that has come from all of this bad, Scorpius can be happy.

Finally, time seems to stop, everything stops rushing ahead of him and everything falls into perspective.

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**AN- **I don't know how much I like this - writing slash makes me nervous sometimes... but I hope you guys like this. Please leave me a review if you did! Lots of love :)


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